Social media is bursting with posts of guys on their knees everywhere, but have you ever stopped to wonder: why?
Especially in these woke and feminist times of Google-clear clarity which has given the world heightened awareness… Why are we still using this outmoded model that is wrong on so many levels?
It is consumerist
C’mon, a “girl’s best friend” is a rock? How about you propose with a puppy and say, “Here’s to the start of our family!” – that would be so much more fun and meaningful and now I’m mad my husband didn’t think of that. Diamonds on the other hand, are absolutely superficial. How meaningful is it when your new fiancé has to pay off a loan for that shiny worthless thing around your finger? Don’t care for a diamond ring? Great, but did you realize how sexist marriage proposals are?
It is sexist
The whole idea of proposing is perpetuated by Hollywood and social media but if you read about its historic origins, you’ll realize just how sexist it is. Engagement rings were given as collateral for a lady’s virginity because back in the day, that’s the only thing that gives a woman value. In essence, your virtue is purchased with a bit of jewelry.
Furthermore, I hated the whole idea of having to wait for the guy to ask me a question that will decide the rest of my life. Why can’t we just talk about our future like adults, figure out if getting married something we both want and discuss how best to approach the rest of our lives together? I don’t want to spend my time waiting to see if he decides I’m worthy enough to be his wife. A relationship is between two. I want a partner, not a dictator. Unfazed by sexism? Good for you, but you’re still infringing on another culture.
It is cultural appropriation
What’s even more damning is the whole ‘getting down on one knee’ is a White practice adopted by the entire world. If you are White, obviously this doesn’t appeal to you so move on along… But isn’t it funny that Americans are quick to call people out for cultural appropriation but when other races dress up for Halloween or steal ideas of the white wedding dress, they say nothing? Is it because of cultural bias or simply because they secretly want the whole world to be just like them so they stay silent? Where are my conspiracy theorists at? 😂
Every culture has their own practices and not many are as romantic (or what Hollywood wants us to believe is romantic 🙄) My culture actually has the intended groom express his wishes to marry through his family who will approach the intended bride’s family and there’s a lot of back and forth regarding compatibility (time of birth, names, Chinese zodiacs are all calculated to foretell whether they will be a good match) there’s also a lot of gift giving involved, and a bride price (to reimburse the parents for raising their daughter, it’s insane!).
If you’re untouched by the idea of cultural appropriation, would you be as flippant about marriage proposals being absolutely extra?
It is extra
Putting too much effort into absolutely nothing is a special talent of Millennials. We were the generation who took one good look at social media and thought: somehow, I’m going to get paid for being me. Our obsession with social media is part of the problem. Everyone wants to share the most beautiful moments of their life so others may envy them. What is social media but a pissing contest, anyway? We’re oversharing our lives because we want to be admired and validation from others.
But the truth is that many discuss their proposal in length prior to the proposal which completely defeats the question. Why ask when you already know the answer? It just feels forced, orchestrated and artificial. I guess social media has made actors and actresses out of all of us.
There’s always a but…
I guess proposals are something to look forward to, kind of like being asked out on a first date or the classic “will you be my girl?” – without which will make one’s relationship anti-climatic.. But too many people are way too invested in the proposal and wedding and how many likes they will get instead of focusing on what really matters: the relationship. Thanks to social media, everyone’s just trailing after everyone else without truly understanding the significance behind the gesture. It’s 2020, guys and girls: Time to stop being basic!