The fourth month

You guys have started doing an infuriating thing. If the milk is not warm enough, you’ll spit it out while smiling.

You’ve also started sleeping longer which is a relief. Despite all the things I’ve started to miss, having sleepless nights is definitely not one of them. You’ve also learnt to be a little more patient instead of screaming the moment you decide you’re hungry.

On the second day of 2020, Liam flipped over spontaneously and he’s been trying to do it again (and failing) ever since. It’s cute because sometimes he thinks he is falling and gets startled but most of the time he just starts crying. It’s okay, Tobias, you don’t have to flip over just because your brother has. We have our own pace. There is no need to compare yourself with anyone else, not even your own twin.

As you go through life, you will eventually come across situations where you feel envious or inferior because you find yourself lacking. Nobody is created equal and it’s okay for someone to be better than you because you have your own strengths as they have theirs. All that should matter is that you do your best and stay true to yourself.

Comparison is the thief of joy and the only time you should compare yourself with someone else is to make sure that they have enough. If there’s someone you need to compete with, compete with yourself (not your brother!) Be better than you were yesterday and learn to celebrate others. Spare compliments even to those you don’t like because they might need it. Even if they aren’t your friends or they’ve done something to hurt you, I hope you are able to look past their flaws and be the kindness this world needs.

I don’t expect you to be perfect but I hope you never feel the need to kick someone when they are down or take joy in another’s downfall. I hope you learn to be kind. I hope you learn it’s okay to allow others to take advantage of you as long as you’re okay with it. If you start to feel neglected or taken for granted, do something about it. Anything but complain. When you realize you’re doing more than you’re willing to, stop going the extra mile. It’s that simple. You are in control of everything you feel. Everything, even when it comes to being angry, envious, feeling belittled or bullied – you can choose to be unaffected but the fact is that allow yourself those feelings.

I hope you learn to recognize your power over yourself.

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